An Open Letter To My Ladies -- An Ode To Queens

We're still in a Water Week, but the waves are starting to ebb a bit so the flow feels better for this kind of message. The listening for this writing is Sticky Finger's "Queen", because this song reminds me of all my Queens. 

If that's not the right vibe for you, the other song behind this writing is Olivia Dean's "Danger". If you aren't an Olivia Dean fan then you need to be, because she is undoubtedly the next one to watch in the music industry. 

Here we go...

Let me start by saying ladies, there’s nothing I can say that you haven’t already figured out for yourself so this letter won’t be nearly as long as the one I wrote for the guys.

I’m just going to re-affirm things for you (and myself) by starting off with: No, you’re not crazy. You’re just responding to your environment and THAT’S the crazy part.

So, like I told the boys: Breathe.

Just like my Aunty always tells me, everything starts with one really good deep breath.

Center yourself and you can do anything.

That’s really all I had to say, but I’ll get into the why of things I suppose.

As stated, you ladies already know all this, but Life stays Life-ing at us in the best and worst ways possible. It feels like every time you’ve got a handle on something you break your favorite scrunchy, lose your favorite lip gloss, or god forbid it’s that time of month. 

Who can’t relate to just being over it sometimes? I feel like I stay over it, but that’s not what we’re doing in 2024.

This year, we’re bringing our best energies and our best selves to the party. 

Aren’t you just sick and tired of being sick and tired? When was the last time you really took a treat yourself day and just pampered yourself for the sake of it, not because you were on the brink of a stress-related breakdown? 

See, we’re leaving stress-related breakdowns in 2023 where they belong and we’re coming into this new year with a sense of self prioritization. 

In other words: Screw anybody who tries to make you feel bad about taking care of yourself first and foremost.

It’s not selfish to not want to collapse. Sometimes you just need to sit down and that’s ok. Don’t let anyone try to run you ragged in their own best interest. 

Women, we’re not doing that anymore. Train the “yes” out of yourselves — just every now and then. It’s ok to say “No”, because you need a breath. 

Again, this is stuff you already know and have learned, but it’s oh so easy to forget when everybody is constantly leaning into you for help or perspective or guidance.

You can do it all, but take care of yourself first. 

That means Self Care Sundays on Saturdays and Tuesdays and whenever the hell you need it.

We’re no longer justifying our feelings to others. If you feel it, it’s valid. It’s not always right, but it’s at the very least valid. 

The only real lesson I want to impart to my Ladies today is the Power of the Buddy System.

Buddy System. Buddy System. Buddy System.

I have spent 30 years running in the streets with the wildest heathens I could find, but I made it home every single time with all my teeth, organs, and limbs, because I have always valued the Buddy System.

There’s a proper way to work the Buddy System though, so let’s talk about that.

The Buddy System means where She Goes, You Go. One with each other at all times, hovering and watching. 

The Buddy System means if she’s flirting with a guy, you’re flirting with his friend. Birds of a feather flock together. If he’s a genuinely good guy, his friend better be a genuinely great guy. You’ll know within the first five minutes.

The Buddy System means if she goes to the restroom and you can’t go with her, you keep your eyes on her drink the entire time to make sure no one drops anything in it. You don’t glance away for even a second, because that’s how Besties get roofied.

If she’s sick, you’re sick. You man the bathroom door with your life and you don’t leave until she’s got the last of her sick out of her body and you’ve helped her clean up. When she can walk, you can walk, but only then.

If she’s having a bad night, well we’re both having a bad night. You never leave a woman on her own even if you’re trying to have the most litty night of your life.

Buddy System means Buddy System. Nobody parties alone. Nobody walks to their car alone. Nobody stands outside the club on their phone alone. 

Women — a girl’s girl protects all girls. We’re no better than one another no matter how much makeup we wear or how skimpy our clothing. I don’t care if you’re butcher than butch and can run the block, you need a Buddy at ALL times. 

The Buddy System gets us home to our loved ones safe every time and if you can internalize that then you can travel the globe solo-dolo and be good, but if you can’t be trusted to keep the buddy system flowing then you can’t be trusted at all.

You only need ONE good Buddy. One good Wilson friend. One good Hydration Homie. One good Girl Friend. 

And lastly my ladies, trust your gut.

If your gut tells you that your Buddy is not looking out for you *always* then chances are your gut is right. Never doubt your instincts. 

Alright Ladies, it’s 2024! 

What’s on our bucket lists now that we’ve got our Buddy Systems in place?