Back To Reality

"Back to life, back to reality," sang Soul II Soul in their song "Back To Life (However Do You Want Me)".

And it really does feel like that sometimes... 

I swear I "wake" up at the most random moments and realize that I'm a Human and I am Doing This and We're Here on this thing called Earth.

Sometimes that kind of "back to reality" feeling happens naturally -- that déja vu feeling. 

Sometimes it's prompted by a question.

I had one question asked to me as a burnt out senior at New York University that reset the course of my life. 

It was the first day of an elective class titled "Classical Mythology" and our professor asked us the Who/What We Wanted To Be In The Future question. 

Again, I was a a senior at this point just trying to wrap up my last required credits before graduation and that elective course almost took me out of reality. 

However, it was the most important class of my career at that point as it was the first time since I started college that a professor asked the entire class on the very first day that specific question. 

In a single question, when I was burnt out and stressed out beyond belief, I was reminded why I began those four grueling years of university to begin with.  

It was because I had a dream. 

And until that moment, four years into the dream later, I was too exhausted to enjoy or even recognize that I was accomplishing something I had worked towards since I was 3 years old. 

In a few short months, I would graduate from New York University with a Bachelor’s of Science in Media, Culture & Communication.  

It was rigorous. Brutal. 

And challenging beyond belief, but I accomplished that in the exact right amount of time as planned — four years — and then I would cross the finish line. 

But I hadn’t been asked that question in such a meaningful way, that eventually 20 students in and it was suddenly my turn, my answer was… 

“I don’t know who I want to be, but I know I love writing and traveling and being lost. I just never want to settle…” 

That answer hasn't changed... Much.

I do know who I want to be. And, I still love writing and traveling and being lost. 

I do want to settle at some point, but I'm still not "there" yet and I'm not supposed to be. I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be right now. 

As I write in this very moment, considering the potential of working in Narrative Medicine, I'm in a writer's workshop in Los Angeles.

This is the moment three year old me didn't know was a possibility when I began using the walls of my parent's house as writing canvas.

This is the moment I dreamed of, in some slightly less linear way, when I was 11 years old -- sitting on that step with Daddy. 

And this moment feels so profound, because this Writer's Workshop chose to lead us in with jazz. 

Jazz was the first love language I ever knew. 

Jazz... 

(To Be Continued...)